Das necessidades...

há 2 meses atrás queria férias, o mês passado precisava delas, agora estou a ponto de dar um braço para me ver rapidinho aqui:

My baby

Das atitudes parentais...

O bicho ainda não chegou e já estão ali montes de brinquedos!

Note to self #17

I need a new blog or a bigger draft box.

Shit, I'm failing!

Transactional analysis is a theory of personality and a systematic psychotherapy for personal growth and personal change.

The philosophy of TA:
People are OK
Everyone has the capacity to think
People decide their own destiny, and these decisions can be changed

Ah se estes mimos parassem cá em casa....

 

 

Deer in headlights

What the hell am I doing here? (and I don't mean this as a rhetorical or philosophical question. I am past the shadows of who am I, what purpose is there to life and other teenage years' crap) I really means this, as I am away from home for a 2 day training in a stunning middle of nowhere. Said training includes accommodation and meals, which is great as it is also a chance to socialise and meet new people... Wait! What?... my breathing is suddenly quite shallow and my heart beats to 100m world record speed... Do I strike you as the social kind in any way? You are wrong in monumental proportions. I am the one that (after 10 minutes making up the courage to actually walk into the dining room) sits alone at a table for 6 because she can't sum up the nerves to say 'can I sit here?' to any of the people in the other tables. The people that throughout dinner chatted away with each other nicely like normal people. Me? Midway through the main course I was joined by another freak of my species. We managed to not speak a word to each other or anyone else other than the waiter for that matter. Well, but did you go to the bar after? Did I heck! I went straight to my room with my tail between my legs trying not to have a panic attack every time I think of the next 2 days. Sorry to burst your bubble, but I really am shy and awkward and a total twat in social things with strangers. I am not putting myself down here, I know I can be smart and witty and even charming at (drunken) times but only if I am already in a comfort zone... if I know my surroundings and the people, especially the people. In all other cases I am the lonely girl in the corner, a proper deer in headlights. I can be nice and polite if anyone approaches me, but by all means I will be a daft, uninteresting being... I don't mean to, but it's like my brain cells all go on thinking strike. Akward is the nicest euphemism to describe me in those situations. It is painful to watch and even worse to feel. Let's face the facts once and for all. I am a social pariah. And for pulling through my daftness long enough (and sometimes it is looong) to actually get to know me, my friends deserve to be beatified as patron saints of sheer patience.

Em actualização...

Se tudo mais falhar...

Cold as ice?

Undoubtedly I am not an emotional person... I don't go gooey for babies, don't like being given flowers, cringe at the thought of too much physical contact with a stranger... on the other hand I am not exactly dead inside, I just like to rationalize things. Yet sometimes I hear people talking about me and I wonder who that cold hearted bitch is. Weirdly enough, when I see a dog, there are almost cartoonish hearts coming out of my pores... and then, people look at me like I have been possessed by some alien force. Because the truth is that whenever I do get emotional (which tends to involve huge amounts of swearing, sobbing and cursing the world), everyone gets scared. They look at me frightened as if I got the whole world out of balance and they run around like headless chickens trying to get me back to my so called normality. Because I am not supposed to crash and burn. I am the one that shrugs emotion away with a roll of the eyes and a cynical laugh. So maybe I am the over analysing, control freak, arrogant and cold being most people see. I sure am a bitch, but I am no ice queen. And when I melt, it's one huge fucking drama all around.

Balance

Dei 3 pares de sapatos para a caridade, logo hoje comprei mais 3!

bliss